‘OK, GOD. ENOUGH. I’M TIRED OF FEELING SAD. HELP ME OUT HERE.’ (REPOST)
That was me on Good Friday, locking myself up in an office/closet to have some quiet time with Him. And let me tell ya, He showed up. There was a chapter in one of my meditation books about the crosses God asks us to continue carrying from Jesus:
“What then will the cross be for us? Look: what do you find most difficult in your everyday life? Well, that’s the Redeemer’s cross for you. Those tough temptations you meet, your ill health, your heavy demanding work, the defects of the people among whom you live, WHO HURT YOU…. Have supernatural outlook! All this, for you, is the cross of Christ…Carry it joyfully, lovingly. Carry it generously and you will learn to hide it from those around you, as you would hide a treasure. Hide it behind a generous smile and you will discover in the depths of your soul, what our Lord’s words mean when he says, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden is light’ (Mt 11:30); for he, the good Cyrenean of souls will help you carry it.” – Jesus As Friend by Salvatore Canals
Reading those three words, “Who hurt you,” was God speaking to me. I then looked up from that book to see the picture I’m holding in my hands of Jesus carrying his cross, and I instantly got the message: Nik, this hurt is the cross I’m asking you to carry for me. I brought this picture of Jesus all the way from Nigeria and I had placed it in this office/closet as a constant reminder that I’m going to joyously continue carrying the cross from Jesus. And on Good Friday, when, historically, Jesus carried his cross thousands of yeas ago, God was personally asking me to carry this one. No problem, God, anything for You. I will happily and joyously carry it. Especially after talking to my brother who said my cross is nothing compared to the crosses others have to carry. I’ll take my spec of a cross any day any time! (SMILE) What’s your cross?
What made it a great Good Friday though was calling my sister in the Bahamas earlier that day to vent to her. She was just talking to her son about a book, ‘Man’s Search For Meaning,’ by Victor Frankl, but hung up from him to talk to me. We ended up talking about the book as well about how he believed that we can find beauty in any situation we find ourselves. I told her maybe I need to read it. Fast forward to that evening, my mom asked to listen to Wayne Dyer’s podcast and exactly where we continued playing from where we had last left over, out of hundreds of episodes, this very one was about this very book, ‘A Man’s Search For Meaning,’ and him meeting Mr. Frankl years ago. Wink! Wink!
This again lined up too perfectly to just be some regular coincident. It was another one of my God winks where he orchestrated this entire thing to let His girl here know He was with her and to let you know, too, His Presence is with all of us. I’m just the God maniac here who pays attention. Relax…
WEROLLWITHGOD.COM
EVEN DURING MY WORST YEAR, GOD MADE ME FEEL SO LOVED
I can’t get over how I complained that it felt like I fell like a million times, but yet God was there in those million times to wrap His arms around me and let me know that His invisible Presence was always with me. That’s the love I’ve gotten to know from Him. Unlike human love that cut you off when you’re not what they expect you to be, God’s love is unconditional, and it never fails. It’s a love you must feel for yourself!
Like yesterday, I pushed myself out to work despite not feeling too well. I complained to God that even with His work, I didn’t do that well. Can you believe He read that slightest little thought from me? Someone on Facebook liked this old post, and I decided to read it, not knowing it was a message from Him:
“MOMMY, EVERY DAY YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO DO THAT!!!”
That’s my Joshie to me again today after I promise that I will take care of something for him. My son has found out one of my weaknesses – PROCRASTINATION! I even apologized to my husband the other day that this year, performance wise, hasn’t been my best. The proud Vice-President fell A LOT. But even in my weaknesses, lack of focus and drive, God shows up in my morning appointment, letting me know that HE IS PLEASED WITH ME:
“I AM PLEASED WITH YOU, MY CHILD…You don’t have to perform well in order to receive My love (Wink! Wink!). In fact, a performance focus will pull you away from Me… It can also be a source of deep discouragement when your works don’t measure up to your expectation (me lately!).
Shift your focus from performance to My radiant Presence. The Light of My Love shines on you continually, regardless of your feelings or behavior. Your responsibility is to be receptive to this unconditional Love.” – Jesus Calling
Are you receptive to God’s unconditional love? I’m talking the slightest thought about not doing His work well and He figured out a way to get that message to me minutes later from 4 months ago. Here’s what else that post said:
“When I say God’s ways are not our human ways, trust me on that! Here I am apologizing to my hubby for not performing up to my expectations, and God sweetly says, ‘Switch those feelings of discouragement, My Nik, to my unconditional love, regardless of how you perform!’
AND GOD SHOWS ME HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!! Like I can’t get over how a book showed up at a friends’ house on Saturday. I wrote this in yesterday’s post:
“Of all books in the entire world for God to take my attention there was just Him revealing His invisible Presence with us. This lined up EXTREMELY too perfectly to be some ordinary coincidence! It was God saying, ‘Nik, I go with you, I GO BEFORE YOU, and I’m familiar with all your ways.’ Wink! Wink! “
Can you believe God went as far as confirming that this was Him? This also showed up in my morning appointment with Him:
“As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I LOVINGLY GO BEFORE YOU and plant little pleasures to brighten your day. Look carefully for them, and pluck them one by one.”
What kind of love is this? For the Creator of the Universe to go to all this trouble to reveal His Presence with me. From planting the book there, having me sit three feet away from it and pull my attention to the book at the precise MOMENT I was asked its name. It was unbelievable! God is too much!
MORAL: STOP FOCUSING ON PERFORMANCE AND FOCUS ON GOD’S LOVING PRESENCE THAT IS ALWAYS WITH US!!! Amen!!! The world and ourselves condemn if we don’t perform up to expectations, but God loves unconditionally!!! He says, let’s keep going. Try to do better next time. Even if we fall a million times (like I feel I did this year), He helps us get back up, and back on track step by step and little by little. The sweet life with God continues DESPITE THE MANY TIMES WE FALL AND FAIL!”
Are You learning His voice? For my appointment with Him this morning, I asked where I should go to hear from Him. I go to an electronic copy of the book Jesus Calling, and I was drawn to Proverbs 3:5, feeling in my spirit like God was saying to me that I should pay attention to it:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Then, I love starting my day reading from our family’s website, werollwithgod.com. I randomly picked a page, and the post there again was based on Proverbs 3:5:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
Next, just for a quick appointment with God reading a hard copy of the same book, Jesus Calling, out of over 700 pages, I randomly opened to one that referred to Proverbs 3:5 as an additional verse to read, with a message from God saying:
“TRUST Me in the depths of your being, where I live in union with you.”
And if that’s not enough, I go to Instagram to share my video for today, entitled, ‘Trust God with All Your Heart,’ feeling strongly that’s what He wanted me to discuss today. And the first 30-second clip that came up in my feed was of these two beautiful young ladies saying:
“Proverbs 3:5: Always trust in the Lord completely. Do not think your own wisdom is enough.”
They’re all what I call my God winks! For me to go to that first electronic copy of Jesus Calling, to next go to our family’s website, then to go to the other 700-page hard copy version of the same book and open directly to that verse, and to going to Instagram and of all the hundreds of thousands of clips there, for that very one to play first, was all God’s sweet way of revealing His invisible Presence with me. There was no way that all of this lined up on its own so perfectly! It was God working behind the scenes of my life orchestrating these winks to let me know of His intimate love and involvement in every detail of my life. It’s my prayer and hope that through sharing my God stories, you too will begin having the eyes that see Him and the ears that hear Him and know that you are not going through life alone; God got you!
I recently started having appointments with God with my husband before he leaves out to work, and this morning I asked him what’s been his major trusting God moment. I reminded Him of a time when God totally came through for us. In this life you will have trouble! And God showed up and showed off like, “Who’s messing with my people.” The direction came as to what steps to take. The people showed up to help us. And most importantly, God did some work behind the scenes, leveling the mountain before we even got to it. His love. His favor. His protection. All showed up for us BIG TIME!!! That challenge made me a strong believer in the power of God and His intimate Presence in our lives to help us tackle any situation that could possibly come our way.
Since then, many problems have come and gone, but God stayed consistent in His commitment to helping us. Different favor. Different people. Different solutions. Different communications from Him as to what He would have us to do. I’m talking step by step direction to handle any type of situation! Let me tell ya, God is an expert in everything!!!
These verses from Proverbs 3:5-6 have been spot on in my relationship with God, and I want to make them your constant meditation as well no matter the trials you face:
“Trust the LORD with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the LORD in all you do, and he will give you success.”
Whenever my mind tells me to doubt God, I just remind myself of all the many times God has come through for us. I just commit to doing my best in the physical realm, leaving the rest for God to handle in the spiritual realm on our behalf.
Like no doubt whatsoever, we see and feel God’s hands at work behind the scenes of our lives. Even the times when we make big mistakes or we go in the wrong direction, He shows up with such loving guard rails to get us back on track. The times I feel so frustrated with myself, I go and have appointments with Him. He would figure out some way to let me know He loves me, with Him saying something like, ‘If you feel you’ve done wrong, just wash it away, not at my feet, but on my heart. And just do better next time.” Such LOVE ALWAYS!
I don’t want to be this happy and at peace by myself! I want you confidently trusting God with all your heart. This life is filled with troubles and hardships, but we can keep our eyes fixed on God, knowing anything is possible with Him. He can instantly turn any situation around. It’s just up to consistently look to God for guidance in the 1,000 decisions we make every day. In my appointment with Him today, another verse showed up that I want us running with:
“So we make it our goal to please Him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.” – 2 Corinthians 5:9
Like I always say, everything is between God and us, not between us and anyone else. By making it our goal to please God, He beautifully guides us on the path that He has for us. That even when we mess up, He lovingly pulls us back on course. That’s the love I’ve gotten to know from Him. Too good to be true!
But it does take some commitment on our end to seek Him. To learn His personality, His character, and the people He is calling us to be in the world. Also, to learn His voice so that you know precisely what God would have you to do when you have to make crucial decisions. In one of those big challenges I faced, I’ll never forget how God had us to leave Nigeria for Christmas one year to travel to the US. He then had someone out on a dinner date to tell us the type of professional we should hire to help us. The next day, I Googled the specific person they advised, and my husband and I ended up meeting a gentleman who sat with us for free for three hours to give us specific instructions on how to handle the situation we were fighting. It was incredible! And for free he did it! “TRUST IN GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART!!!”
I invite you to say this prayer with me, “God, I want a closer walk with you.” Then start seeking Him. Wake up a few minutes earlier and have appointments with Him reading or listening to anything spiritually uplifting. I love our family’s website, werollwithgod.com, but once you start learning His voice, He will start telling you specifically where He would have you to go to hear what He has to say to you. I’m forever getting messages from Him here in Whatsapp groups. Like I said, He is pretty talkative. It’s just for us to invite Him in and start learning His voice. I promise you, the best life, not perfect o, where you have peace and joy knowing God’s invisible Presence is always with you. He has your back!
Can you believe that after watching a YouTube video this morning of how God uses feathers as a sign of His Presence, I just felt something on my left ear as I type this, and I pulled out a feather? God’s love! A sign to us all that He is here with us!
That was me running to Him when a customer threatened to return a vehicle she purchased from us. I’m determined to only go to President/hubby when I really need him, and I decided to pray and ask God for His help instead. And can you believe God showed up?!? One of His solutions magically popped into my head, saying we should Google a specific company. Honestly, the next thing I know, within minutes, the problem was being handled. Turns out, the company was only minutes away from the mechanic shop! God in action, baby! I was all the way in Nigeria, and they were in the US, and God gave me the wisdom from the other side of the world to solve the problem. Wow! God is too much!!!
“My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.” – Psalm 121:2
KNOW WITH ALL YOUR HEART, YOU ARE NOT GOING THROUGH LIFE ALONE. God’s invisible Presence is with us in every moment, and He’s available to help 24/7. He’s only one call away! Let me tell you, He is an expert in everything! No matter the problems, God has the solutions!
Me taking that time to go to Him and pray, was the best thing! PRAY!!! Asking for God’s help is the best advice I can give you! That’s our greatest strength, KNOWING we need Him and have access to Him. His ways are not our human ways, they’re so much better. I cry listening to a song that says, “What would have become of me if I didn’t see Your light. What would have been said of me if You didn’t hold my hands (All That Matters).” The horror!!!
PRAY!!! Then, watch out for His answers. It could be a solution magically popping in your mind or it could be someone He sends with advice. Like Dr. Joel Fuhrman (Google him!!!) was my angel from Him 10 years ago after reaching rock bottom about my weight frustrations and praying and asking God to help me. My mom saw him on a TV show in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep. She saw the agony and stress I was going through, and she said, “Nikki, I found someone for us!’
Dr. Fuhrman taught me how to eat. Not only to lose weight but to live a healthy life. That was 10 years ago, and I still do my best to stick with his advice of making fruits, vegetables, and beans 80-90% of what I eat. I’m 47, but I feel 27! My run today was with Olympian Mo Farah on the Nike Running Club app, and I had a blast!
PRAY!!! Then start paying attention to God’s answers that will start showing up all over the place! Especially in our feelings. Feelings of peace, joy, excitement are from Him to move forward in a certain direction. No peace or doubt means stay still, let’s rethink this. No peace, no move!!! Get God involved in the 1,000 decisions you make every day! He can turn any situation around! Just seek Him!!!
That was a text from my daughter, Ember, a couple of nights ago. I responded, “God is our strength.” But this Ember is really something else. She may not say much (I call her silent killer!), but when she does, I pay attention. Like when she told me that last year was looking like my worst year ever, I was determined to turn that around. Then recently, when she said that it seems as if I’ve abandoned my sons, I’m back focused, man! Professionally momma upped her game!
But, this last one, “You’re a strong lady, mother,” has sunk DEEP with me. It just reminded me that in every moment, I have access to God. When I’m weak, with Him, I’m strong!!! I’m walking with some extra pep in my step, baby! I LOVE THIS OLD POST:
I FINALLY GET IT!!!
At every moment, we have God’s love, power, generosity, strength, wisdom, patience, charm, personality, influence, Spirit, angels, warmth, and friendship backing us up. Are you guys getting this???? God is intimately involved in every nanosecond of our lives, just waiting for us to remember that, although invisible, He is there with us. SWEET!!!
It took a conversation with someone early this morning that brought this idea home. I have a way of making some pretty cutting, hurtful, and rude remarks sometimes, and in that conversation, before making one of those awful comments, I held my tongue, looked to God, and asked, ‘What would please You here?’ I felt Him respond through my Spirit, ‘Nik, don’t say that!’ And I didn’t, and instead responded with gentleness, kindness, and love, all for God’s happiness and honor. Love is not rude.
The BIG lesson is that I need us to up our game in doing an even better job of continuously going to God and responding to EVERYONE and EVERYTHING from His perspective. Trust me, like in that conversation today, instead of saying the wrong things, God gave me His tact, charm, genuineness, and charisma to respond from His loving and kind character. And it’s ALWAYS available to us 24/7. GOD IS OUR GREATEST FRIEND.
I so enjoyed talking to a priest recently. We summed up God in three words: GOD IS LOVE. And He is counting on us to reflect that to a watching world. That’s what I believe would please Him greatly. The more beautiful we are, in our words and deeds, the more beautiful God looks. Wink! Wink! NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SAID, EITHER. People should want a relationship with God because of us and not vice versa.
Even with problems, I so want to figure out how I will handle the difficulties of my life, but God is showing me that I don’t have to have everything all figured out. This message showed up on WhatsApp, and I knew I was indeed a message from God to me:
“But God is saying to you…Be still and know that I am your God. I will fight all your battles and give you victory.”
That means relaxing (not in a lazy way!), confident, and having a continuous thought of God being with us and for us, seeking to do what He is asking of us. His constant advice as to what to do, what to say, and where to go, leads us to a life of joy, purpose, peace, success, and victory no matter the challenges – may no darkness weigh us down by the grace of God!
Let me tell ya, His direction hasn’t failed me yet! I LOVE MY LIFE WITH GOD! WILL YOU JOIN US?
“Grant me the grace, O Lord and Saviour, to never allow time to elapse between the desiring and the putting into practice that which You want. Amen.” – The Imitation of Christ
That was my brother, Kevin, to me some months ago, and honestly, I’m giving all the glory to God, who has led me on this extraordinary path. I get to live between the US and Nigeria, truly enjoying the best of both worlds. I then have the honor and privileged of sharing these fabulous adventures with you. My life’s assignment, which I’ve happily accepted from God, is to live my best life with Him, as I, hopefully, inspire you to do the same. Forget Cardi B, y’all, I’m living my best life with God!!!
When I say gorgeous, it doesn’t mean I don’t have my share of challenges, hurts, frustrations, disappointments, losses, and sadness. Believe it or not, though, God uses EVERYTHING, NOTHING IS WASTED BY HIM, to help us learn some pretty fantastic lessons that make us wiser, stronger, bolder, more loving, braver, and most importantly, to bring us closer to Him.
Like 2020, which I now call my year of one million falls. My daughter, Ember, at one point said, “This is looking like your worst year ever.” I said, “No, no, no. This will be my best year because it will bring me closer to God.” I took that statement to heart, realizing that my daughters were both watching me take on some complicated, messy and difficult stuff, and I had to show them how to take on whatever life throws their way, KNOWING God is right there with us.
That mission of getting closer to God was wonderfully accomplished. In every one of those million falls, I would run to God, seeking some little glimmer of His Presence, and He would find some way to let me know He was right there with me. It taught me that my GREATEST STRENGTH was knowing I need God every moment. I must always look to Him for wisdom, guidance, approval, strength, and direction. That I can lean on and be confident in Him! In fact, I felt God go to great lengths to let me know His Presence was always with me.
My favorite one was when my husband sent me a picture from Nigeria from some years ago. I sent Him back a text (feeling in my spirit that God was the one dictating the words):
“Forget the former things! God is doing a new thing! He is taking our family to new and greater heights! HE WILL MAKE A STREAM in the wastelands, a spring in the desert.”
Turns out, that day, there was an urgent errand that needed to happen for our office. Although I could’ve easily delegated it to someone to take care of, I felt God in my spirit saying, ‘Nik, you do it.’ I asked my daughters to accompany me to make it a day together. As we were driving to our office, Ember says, “Mom, look!!!” She pointed to this LONG STREAM of water flowing next to the highway that was not there before. It was like a new river just suddenly appeared! Apparently, all the rain that we were having ended up flooding over next to this major highway. I immediately thought of the text to my husband that very morning. “God is doing a new thing. He will make a stream in the wastelands.”
And let me tell ya, that lined up too perfectly to be some ordinary coincidence! That was God giving me that unbelievable sign so that I remember His promise – Nik, I’m doing a new thing with your family! Just watch me! And that He was with me!!! It was like the rainbow He gave Noah after the flood. Asking me to stick with Him on the high road being my most patient, loyal, and loving self. I remember spending that day with my daughters, so incredibly happy, feeling so loved by God, that His loving Presence was with us, and He loved our family that much to have this large stream of water to flow next to this major US freeway.
That’s just an example of the amazing love I feel from Him. The love where I feel He sings to me, sends people to help and support me, the solutions to problems that will magically pop in my mind as to how to handle complicated situations. Like, ‘Nik, do this.’ I’m talking step-by-step instructions in the most difficult of problems.
With such love and tenderness He shows me, He has asked me this, though:
“This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.” – John 15:12
As I look back at 2020 in hindsight, I can see clearly now that this was what God was definitely teaching me: TO LOVE OTHERS THE WAY HE LOVES ME. A recent experience, feeling cut off by someone, I go to have an appointment with God, and my meditation book said this:
“It may then well happen that on certain days I count twenty lapses (mistakes), while I couldn’t none on other days. And yet I may have made greater progress on the days when twenty failures occurred than on the days without one.” – Yes, Father
In thinking about this, I can now see that those one million falls last year were all God’s way of helping me make LOTS of spiritual progress. He taught me all about loving others unconditionally, forgiveness, patience, perseverance, loyalty, and staying on the high road with Him. To be this person who kept getting back in the ring to fight, no matter how many times I got knocked down, knowing He was my strength and support.
God’s ways are certainly not our human ways. Humans cut you off and reject you when you are not who they would have you to be. But God’s love is faithful, dependable and He promises to never leave us or forsake us. In my year of one million falls and mistakes, He brought me even closer to Him.
So much so, this was me back in August after spending an entire weekend totally frustrated with myself:
As of yesterday, August 24, 2020, I want to give my life COMPLETELY to God. To wrap myself in His love (no other love necessary!) and go through every moment of my life KNOWING I’m completely loved, approved of, and accepted my God. To be His girl totally, following His leading in every moment of my life as to what He would have me to do – complete surrender! To be the mother, wife, and person He would have me to be. Not trying to get love from others, but just showing up as my most loving self, sharing God’s love with everyone. Like my brother, Kevin, taught me, I want to SHINE BRIGHT. Like if you’re not rolling with God, you’re missing out on the best life! I want everything about me to REFLECT Him:
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”
I just wanna be His, glorifying and enjoying Him! That means continually keeping my focus on God as I walk through life wrapped up in His arms, sucking up all His love and attention!
Are you with me? Living a life close to God and enjoying Him? No matter how far you feel you are away from God or how awful a place you find yourself, trust me, He is waiting with open arms for you to invite Him in and to be a part of your life, helping you no matter the challenges you face. No matter how long you’ve traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around.
God’s an expert in everything! It’s just for us to learn His voice so we know on a moment-by-moment basis what He would have us to say, what he would have us to do, and where He would have us to go. It just takes practice. The practice of pausing and listening to Him in our spirit, to see what He would have us to do in the 1,000 decisions we make every day. Like that conversation with Him about the important errand that needed to happen. When I thought about everyone else going, I didn’t feel peace. But when I thought about going myself, I felt that peace from Him, and me and the girls ended up having such a memorable day together.
Right now, I’m back in Nigeria with my Emmanuels (husband and two sons), and honestly, I’m enjoying them so much. Again, I felt peace about travelling with them. So, my entire life is becoming this beautiful conversation with God, and I’m filled with peace, joy, and love for everyone and everything. Even the bad knowing they’re all there for my good.
Can we all commit to a life of more love? It’s a practice like listening to God and following His lead! The more you practice the better you get at it, and the better your life will become. Love is the way, baby! Extremely hard sometimes, but that’s where God’s strength within us shows up perfectly to assist us. We do it for God. Our reward is with Him, because this is the way He guides us on the paths He has for us. His plans for us are good! He truly has given me more than I can ever ask or expect, but being my most loving self has helped me to get here. God is love. Let us reflect His character everywhere we go, especially in our homes and then spreading out from there! Let’s all say a joyous Yes, Father, committing to a life guided by Him in every moment being the people He would have us to be. Even if we fall a million times, we still know He loves us unconditionally! Amen!
