“MARRIAGE IS LEARNING TO PUT UP WITH SOME STUFF WE DO NOT LIKE” (REPOST)
I said this to someone over the phone on Saturday. After that conversation, in thinking about it, I said to my friend who I was with, “I’m going to make that the message of my next post.” I figured that if I’m going to do the best I can with my work for God, I have to keep it as real as possible: YOU WILL HAVE SOME MESSY STUFF TO DEAL WITH; NOT EVERY DAY IS LIKE THE HONEYMOON.
I also mentioned to my friend about deciding to NOT attend any more of our BBQ’s at the office after my last SURPRISE that ended with me leaving early. This decision was from a place of freeing my husband to live his life. I can’t be with him 24 hours a day, and I need to trust that he will make good decisions whether I’m around or not. Not that anyone ever gets it entirely right, but my hope is that every day we learn crucial lessons and become BETTER. My prayer for us all!!!
Can you believe God used these two situations to reveal His invisible Presence with me there at my friend’s house? I’m such a nerd because I took four meditation books with me. And shortly after our conversations, I had an appointment with God reading one of them, and looked what incredibly showed up:
“… but more in the sense of what we mean by “trust.” This goes beyond simply presuming that the other is not lying or cheating. Such basic trust recognizes GOD’S LIGHT SHINING BEYOND THE DARKNESS… This trust enables a relationship to be free. It means we do not have to control the other person, to follow their every step lest they escape our grip. Love trusts, it sets free, it does not try to control…
…This means that love bears every trial with a positive attitude. It stands firm in hostile surroundings. This “endurance” involves not only the ability to tolerate certain aggravations (or like I put it, putting up with some things we may not like), but something greater: A CONSTANT READINESS TO CONFRONT ANY CHALLENGE. IT’S A LOVE THAT NEVER GIVES UP, EVEN IN THE DARKEST HOUR. It shows a certain dogged heroism, a power to resist every negative current, AN IRREPRESSIBLE COMMITMENT TO GOODNESS.” – The Joy of Love by Pope Francis
Wow! This just lined up strangely TOO PERFECTLY to be coincident. Of all the books and pages for me to read! It was like God was RIGHT THERE in our conversations! This confirmed where God Himself would have me to be in my marriage: Nik, leave your hubby to have his BBQ to hang out with his friends without you present. Love trusts. And not only am I asking you to put up with some things, I’m challenging you to resist ALL evil with an even STRONGER commitment to love, goodness, and faithfulness.”
Roger that, God! I will be the SUPER GLUE that keeps my family together no matter the challenges that come our way. In fact, yesterday, I got on my knees in front of my kids and hubby and prayed, “God, let me have this same husband AGAIN in my next life! Amen!” Between God, hubby, and this friend I was hanging out with, they’ve bettered my STANDARDS as a wife, mother, and person. I’m God’s little superhero! Wink! Wink! His intimate Presence and LOVE keeps my FAITH STRONG, baby!
KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD
MOM, THIS IS NOT FAIR!!!
That was my sweetie, Julie, to me yesterday. I replied, “Oh my goodness, my post for today will explain why I’m asking this of you. Go and read it right now and call me back!” She didn’t call, but the persistent mom here got her to read this portion with me:
“And speaking of loyalty, I want us loyal to God first and foremost, even when He asks us to do difficult things for Him:
“A person might have to suffer EVEN WHEN IT IS UNFAIR, but if he thinks of God and stands the pain, God is pleased…if you suffer for doing good, and you are patient, then God is pleased. This is what you are called to do, because Christ suffered for you an example to follow. So you should do as he did.” – 1 Peter 2:19-21
Everything is between God and us, not between us and anyone else. I want us looking to God in every moment seeking to please Him. Even if it’s unfair, we know that God’s ways with us are more than fair. He gives much more than we can even ask or imagine when we stay on the high road with Him, GOING THE EXTRA MILE IN LOVE, following His lead.”
I got goosebumps all over this morning, just thinking of how God has been so good to us. Our cook has some time off, so it’s been hubs and me preparing food. This morning that meant tackling breakfast and lunch for the boys to take to school. “See there, boo, teamwork makes the dream work,” I said to hubby. Honestly, I was so thrilled that I GET TO HAVE this family, healthy and happy, all by the grace of God. I’m taking nothing for granted! So much so, that when God asks difficult things of me, I can say, ‘No problem, I got you!’
And that’s the lesson I hopefully taught my daughter yesterday, that sometimes God asks us to do some difficult and unfair things, but we can happily reply, ‘Yes, God, anything for You!’
“We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9
Make sure you’re having your alone times with God, reading or listening to anything that brings you closer to Him! There you will learn His voice clearer so that with one glance at Him, you’ll know what it is He would have you to do. Lately, this verse has been showing up A LOT for me:
“Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected. – Philippians 4:8
Yes, Sir!!! “My dear friend, when grief presses you to the dust, worship there.” – Spurgeon
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“MOM, MIND YOUR BUSINESS”
That was from my wise son, Emmie, yesterday when I asked him for his perspective on a situation. And he was 100% correct. The crazy lady wanted to make an appearance, but my son perfectly reminded me to focus on that was concerning me, like my meditation book says:
“We might have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others, and with things which do not concern us. Blessed are the simple of heart, for they shall enjoy much peace.” –The Imitation of Christ
Phew! On that note, “I’m focused, man!” I have a study date today with the boys and some friends, preparing for some crucial tests next week. But before leaving out, I had a family meeting with hubs and sons about the direction where I feel God is leading our family. We’re in legacy mode, baby! We’re not here for a long time; we’re here for a good time. And that good time for me is running my leg of the race the best I can to pass on the baton to the future generations what was passed on to me and much more!
Like I’m thrilled that my daughters are in the US right now with my 88-year-old mom. The values that she has instilled in me are seriously working, and every moment my daughters are around her, I’m happy. “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” – Aristotle
My girls are learning responsibility, humility, kindness, loyalty, sacrifice, gentleness, tact, time management, discipline, self-control, forgiveness, and going the extra mile in love. Yeah, baby! Super fierce kids we’re raising, all for the glory of God.
And speaking of loyalty, I want us loyal to God first and foremost, even when He asks us to do difficult things for Him:
“A person might have to suffer even when it is unfair, but if he thinks of God and stands the pain, God is pleased…if you suffer for doing good, and you are patient, then God is pleased. This is what you are called to do, because Christ suffered for you an example to follow. So you should do as he did.” 1 Peter 2:19-21
Everything is between God and us, not between us and anyone else. I want us looking to God in every moment seeking to please Him. Even if it’s unfair, we know that God’s ways with us are more than fair. He gives much more than we can even ask or imagine when we stay on the high road with Him, GOING THE EXTRA MILE IN LOVE, following His lead.
But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. – Galatians 5:22-23
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ANOTHER RUN IN THE RAIN!!! (REPOST)
Let me tell ya, these alone times with God are what keep your girl here at peace, calm, relaxed, and happy KNOWING I’M NOT GOING THROUGH LIFE ALONE. I go and touch the last of the 47 trees God had perfectly lined up for me after my 47th birthday, and I but both of my palms on them and say, ‘God, we’re together! We’re together! We’re together!’ No matter how crazy that may look or sound, I need these crucial reminders because this life gets HARD. I love how my brother, Kevin, described what these runs do for me:
“I don’t know if it gives you strength. I think it gives you wisdom. It gives you time to think, to plan, to focus. You are in a war, you realize that right. Any problem that you have is a war. So, you need to strategize, and I think your runs give you clarity in everything. Keep running. Trust me when I tell you this, I think that is the key.”
He is so right! Like yesterday before going on that run, I was deeply feeling the pain of rejection, and I had to stop what I was doing to have an appointment with God. It was 31 minutes past the hour, so I went to page 31 of my website, and at the very top post there, God, unbelievably, had this to say to me:
“It’s hard to comprehend how much God loves us because we are all used to human love, we had to behave properly, and we had to do certain things to keep our relationships with people going. People blow you off when you don’t do things to please them as we know that conditional love, it lets you down…With God’s kind of love, it’s totally different, it’s awe inspiring….May I be lifted above the pain of rejection, as I remember that who I really am cannot be rejected. May God’s acceptance mean more to me than the acceptance of any person, for it is based on my true worth.” So, there I was, feeling so hurt, down and depressed like this person didn’t want me in their life again, and God’s invisible Presence shows up with this crucial message from Him to me: Nik, the real you, my child, can never be rejected. He picks me up when I’m down.”
Going on that run, after reading this, was exactly what my brother said. It was time to strategize with God as to what He would have me to do. He said, ‘Nik, vent anything to me, but to others keep silent. Be patient. When others are weak, you be the strong one. Don’t repay evil with evil. Keep shining bright for Me, doing everything for Me. I got you. I love and approve of you, and that’s all that matters.” God’s school of hard lessons continues. Put God First in your life, guys! We need His perspective!
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GOD JUST MADE ME CRY
I got a feeling from Him to read page 38 of our family’s website, werollwithgod.com, for an appointment with Him. I had written this eight months ago:
““WISH WE WERE THERE WITH YOU GUYS”
That was me to my hubby today. He and the boys are in Nigeria, and me and the girls are in the US. And with the airports being closed there to international flights for a month or so, we’re riding out this Coronavirus separated from each other. I told hubs that God didn’t plan for us to be together, but I would like to use this as an opportunity for us to get closer to Him. My goal is to come through this storm a happier and better wife, momma, and person. I thanked him for the beautiful life I get to live with them. I have the best family in the world, y’all. We ain’t perfect, but we’re sure close. (SMILE)”
I asked hubs if I could read it to him, and I just started balling crying because this was a rough year for our family, but by God’s grace, we made it through. My goals of getting closer to God and coming through this storm a happier and better wife, momma and person were accomplished. Glory be to God!
I cried because of God’s intimate involvement in my life and His deep love for my family and me. He has been with us every difficult step of the way. The devil did his best to get us off track, but I kept running to God in all my crazy lady moments, and I was reminded of the person He was calling me to be. This sermon from Bel Air Church became my crucial mindset:
“Jesus (God), what is your perspective on every moment of my life? Every relationship. Every decision. Every circumstance. And how can I enter into it to glorify you.”
And keeping that God perspective was what kept me holding my head high and strong despite the deep waters that tried to overwhelm me. My God was with me!!! And one decision after another, He guided me with His wisdom and love.
Even during my most difficult days, God would figure out some way to show up and remind me that He was standing with me. He even had a new stream of water to flow next to a major highway I drove by with my daughters just hours after I had sent my husband a text saying God will make a stream in the wastelands. God was doing a new thing with our family!
God has delivered on that promise! He brought us through the storm better, stronger, and closer than ever with an essential message for the world: GET STRONGER WITH THE LORD!!! The devil is doing his best to destroy us any way he can, but we must stay with this central mindset:
“Jesus (God), what is your perspective on every moment of my life? Every relationship. Every decision. Every circumstance. And how can I enter into it to glorify you.”
Start seeking to please God in the 1,000 decisions you make every day by being the loving, forgiving, peaceful, PATIENT, disciplined, joyful, full of faith people, focused on what is true, right and noble. That’s how He guides us through any storm that comes our way! Heehaw!!!
I kept asking Him earlier this year when I felt stressed, overwhelmed, depressed, and like I was on the verge of losing my mind. No joke. It was a lot. But He kept saying, ‘No, Nik, the work for Me continues.’ Every day, I did my best to keep the posts and the videos going, even though I was feeling like such a mess. Who am I to argue with God.
Can you believe that now those very old vlogs and blogs are the ones encouraging me so much lately? Everything I wrote and what I felt God was doing with me has come true. Take for example, this one from 6 months ago:
“I know that this difficult and sometimes overwhelming stuff I have to deal with is God’s way of challenging me to be better, training me as an athlete to be stronger (mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally). God, let’s do this! I’m a soldier in God’s army, baby! I know I will come through it happier, more mature, more disciplined, more focused, and more at peace.”
Today, as I write this, I’m happier (God gave me a new and BETTER heart in replacement of the broken one), more mature (not being tossed to and fro by every little thing that happens), more disciplined, more focused, and much more at peace. Thank You, God!!! Your school of hard lessons has paid off BIG TIME. “The pain of today shall be the joy of tomorrow!”
And speaking of this mature part, it was my husband who said to me a couple of months ago, ‘Nikki, stop acting like a baby!’ Let me tell you, I booked a flight the very next day to Nigeria from the US. The fight for my family was on, baby! But I brought Major Back-up: God:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”” – Joshua 1:9
I still have lots of challenges, but those challenges don’t have me. I know that God is my Life Partner, and as I do my best in the physical realm, He is at work in the spiritual realm on my behalf. I can’t get over a meeting I attended this week. The people I was meeting with were giving me such a hard time. God said to me in my spirit, “Ask your husband to come.” He first refused, but I called him again (Ms. Persistent!). The crazy thing was that once he came and started talking, all of a sudden, they accepted all my arguments that they rejected before. I was blown away! This was after God said to me some weeks ago in regards to this challenge, ‘Watch and see what I will do!’ God, You have my total confidence, love, and respect! (HUGE SMILE)
Will you recommit your life to Him today? I PROMISE you; this is the best life with Him as your Partner and Guide. Yes, there will still be difficulties, but He will even use them to bring you even closer to Him and help you become ALL He has designed you to be.
God, I recommit my life to walking with You and seeking to please You in all that I do, as You guide me on the path You’ve planned for me and my family. Amen.
