ā€œSTILL FIGHTING MY DEMONSā€

That was my WhatsApp message to my siblings yesterday. To become better, we must address our weaknesses, and I know I have some evil demons within me that are always trying to get the best of me, but Iā€™m fighting them. They go as far as waking me up in the middle of the night, with some awful thoughts about what I should do, and I have to say, ā€˜No, devil, get away from me!!!ā€™ ALL day long Iā€™m in a war with them, striving to be the Nikki God Himself would have me to be in every moment, glorifying Him. Let me tell ya; THIS IS NOT EASY!!! I still get it wrong, LOTS, and thatā€™s OK, because I get knocked down PLENTY, but I get back up with a renewed commitment to bounce back even STRONGER AND BETTER than ever before. Heehaw!

Yesterday when I felt them telling me to turn into the crazy lady, I instead went running to God for an appointment with Him. This showing up after my conversation with my siblings a few hours prior, was no coincident:

“Heavenly Father, I know that I am in battle against a supernatural force of evil, and the only way I can be triumphant in this battle is through an even more powerful force. I know that you are that force. Thank you for giving me the wisdom, courage, and strength to be your hands and feet in this world. Thank you for the opportunity to stand between oppression and freedom. Today, I cast down every fear, every thought that doesnā€™t align with your Word. I ask you today to give me the discernment to identify the strategies of the enemy and the wisdom to respond. Grant me the courage to act based on my training, preparation, and level of skill. In Jesusā€™ Holy Name I pray. Amen.” – Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

I knew this was another direct message from God, reminding me that He is that powerful force helping to fight off the demons. In that awful moment, He gave me the wisdom, courage, and strength to resist the devil, and Iā€™m so much happier for it. So much so that I even responded to an email first thing this morning that Iā€™ve been procrastinating about sending. Iā€™m embarrassed about the way Iā€™ve been lately, but Iā€™m using the humiliations to be better, by Godā€™s grace. Iā€™m thankful to be able to look into myself and see where I can improve.

God went even as far as confirming that this was indeed a message from Him when He drew my attention to a huge truck passing on the highway with the word ā€œTRIUMFā€ big and boldly printed across it. That was a God wink saying, ‘Nik, you will be victorious in this battle!!!’ Such love I receive from Him that I can respond to the devil’s tricks and schemes from His loving, Almighty perspective, KNOWING HIS LOVE WILL NEVER FAIL ME. I claim that for us all!!! Remember, everything we do is between God and us, not between us and anyone else! Do your best and leave the rest with God! Wink! Wink!

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ā€œSINCE YOU ARE THE GOD EXPERTā€¦ā€

ā€œI have a question for you. How can I feel closer to God other than through the appointments with Him?ā€ It was the fantastic question from my 16-year-old daughter, Julie!!! Woohoo! The momma/God maniac here is super thrilled that my daughter wants a closer walk with God. I told her about runs every day with God where I hash out issues going on with me, asking for His clarity and direction as to what He would have me to do. I told her how I downloaded some new music to my playlist, and one song made me EXTRA happy, with me singing the lyrics to God:

ā€œSometimes I wonder, how’d I ever make it through

Through this world without having You

I just wouldn’t have a clue

And sometimes it seems, this world’s closing in on me

And there’s no way of breakin’ free

And then I see You reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna get in

I wanna quit the fight

And then I see Youā€¦ and everything’s alright

And everything’s alright!

When I see You smile

I can face the world, oh oh

You know I can do anything

When I see You smile

I see a ray of light, oh oh

I see You shining right through the rain

When I see You smileā€¦

At meā€ ā€“ When I See You Smile, Singing Sweet

But most crucially, I told my daughter, was that I want us making our entire lives intertwined with God. That’s where our superpower lies (Wink! Wink!). That every moment we do everything with Him, conducting our lives from a total God perspective with His wisdom, love, and strength:

ā€œJesus (God), what is your perspective on every moment of my life? Every relationship. Every decision. Every circumstance. And how can I enter into it to glorify you.ā€

This life gets hard, I know, but if we remember that God is with us in every moment, helping us with our burdens, it becomes much easier. To respond to situations from a ā€œGod, what would You have me to do here?ā€ perspective is how He guides and directs us to the path that He has for us.

This morning I needed a more than usual time with Him, and He challenged me to resist ALL evil with an even STRONGER commitment to love, goodness, and faithfulness.ā€ Will you join Julie and me in remembering God in every moment, giving Him thanks no matter the challenges, KNOWING His invisible Presence is ALWAYS with us. With Him, we can do ANYTHING! HeeHaw!

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FORGET YOU GUYS, THESE BLOGS AND VLOGS ARE FOR ME!

My new spot for hearing from God is on our familyā€™s website: werollwithgod.com. And He speaks clearly to me! Like He did in the middle of the night last night! This God wink started when I told my husband right before going to bed that Iā€™m believing in Psalm 91, that God was my protection when he watched the number of coronavirus deaths count on CNN.

Fast forward to the middle of the night, two of my brothers from the Bahamas had called me, waking me up. I ended up reaching one of them, and he apologized that it was an accident. My other brother I tried calling back but he never answered. After all of that, I gave my daughter, Julie, a call in the US, and after hanging up with her, I decided to hear what God had to say to me at 2:46 reading page 46 of our website. Look at what incredibly showed up:

ā€œā€œThose who go to God Most High for safety will be protected by the Almighty. 2 I will say to the Lord, ā€œYou are my place of safety and protection. You are my God and I trust you.ā€ 3 God will save you from hidden traps and from deadly diseases. 4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you can hide. His truth will be your shield and protection. 5 You will not fear any danger by night or an arrow during the day. 6 You will not be afraid of diseases that come in the dark or sickness that strikes at noon.ā€ – Psalm 91

I had quoted the entire Psalm 91, with God sweetly confirming my belief: Yes, Nik, I am your protection. You may call it a coincident, but I know it was another direct communication from God reminding me that His intimate Presence is always with me, even after 2 am when I went seeking His face. His love wipes away all my anxieties, stresses, and failures!

His love is available for you too!  Iā€™m just the God maniac who goes looking for Him in the middle of the night to remind me that Iā€™m rolling with the King of Kings no matter the darkness that surrounds me. Iā€™m to keep my eyes fixed on Him in every moment, asking Him what He would have me to say, where to go, and what to do. God is pretty talkative once you have ears to hear Him: My sheep know my voice! They listen, and they follow me! Check out werollwithgod.com and start learning His voice!

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EVEN MY WORST DAYS BECOME MY BEST DAYS WITH GOD!!! (REPOST)

Heehaw!!! Let me tell ya, donā€™t play around with your relationship with Him! Iā€™m going for GOLD in every aspect of my life with God as my intimate GUIDE and PARTNER to the BLESSED life, baby. Like I was blown down the other day when there were some hurtful remarks thrown my way, and Iā€™ve been asking God, ā€˜What are the lessons here?ā€™ And He answered me.

First, it was a run with Nike Running Club featuring the ā€œBowerman Babes Clubā€ and Coach Bennet. They are a group of Olympians who talked about how they not only work on their strengths but also their weaknesses together. They said the best way to get better is to not run from our weaknesses, but embrace them, work on them, and improve. And that was the reality check I needed. Nikki, you canā€™t be getting all tossed to and fro by every little negative comment that comes your way or what anyone else is saying!!! STAND STRONG!!! What are words to get you so upset and crazy! If you can improve, improve, but if there is nothing, become a PROFESSIONAL ignorer.

Next, it was Plies the rapper on Instagram. He said that in life, you must have TUNNEL VISION. You must be so focused on the lane that youā€™re running and not be concerned about what anyone else is saying doing in their lane. Stay focused on what you are doing and ignore the rest! These comments were just a pure distraction to get me off my groove. Let anyone say what they want, God is my Defender! Keep doing you, Nik!

Then, I felt God was saying I needed to relisten to the entire Rich Roll and David Goggins interview. Both of these gentlemen have been such tremendous assets to me. The most important message from Goggins was that I needed to work on was my MINDSET. The other day I wrote this, and this is the MINDSET I want to have for the rest of my life:

“As of yesterday, August 24, 2020, I want to give my life COMPLETELY to God. To wrap myself in His love (no other love necessary!) and go through every moment of my life, KNOWING Iā€™m completely loved, approved of, and accepted my God. To be His girl totally, following His leading in every moment of my life as to what He would have me to do ā€“ complete surrender! To be the mother, wife, and person, He would have me to be. Not trying to get love from others, but just showing up as my most loving self, sharing Godā€™s love with everyone. Like my brother, Kevin, taught me, I want to SHINE BRIGHT. Like if youā€™re not rolling with God, youā€™re missing out on the best life! I want everything about me to REFLECT Him:

ā€œWhether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.ā€

I just wanna be His, glorifying and enjoying Him! That means continually keeping my focus on God as I walk through life wrapped up in His arms, sucking up all His love and attention!”

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ā€œI GOT TO WORK BEFORE 9 TODAY!ā€

I excitedly told a friend yesterday after I confessed that Iā€™m embarrassed about getting to work so late every day. Glory to God, Iā€™m bouncing back! No shame in my game; Godā€™s heart has been my hospital, where I go to Him for help to work on all the issues that have been dragging your girl here down, making her very unfocused and burdened. This is Godā€™s loving invitation to all of us:

ā€œCome to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.ā€ ā€“ Mathew 11:28-29

HEREā€™S THE DEAL: GOD IS OUR GREATEST FRIEND! He can help us with any area of our life thatā€™s off-track if we come to Him. He told me to vent anything to Him, but to others, I should be silent. I did. I would run to Him and vent everything that I was feeling upset about 24/7. Then I would follow my spirit as to where to go to hear from Him. Surprisingly, our familyā€™s website, werollwithgod.com, has become one of the best places to seek Him. I get reminders of the person He is calling me to be in every moment. Forget you guys; these blogs and vlogs help me!!!

Then reading of all the times God has shown up for me in the past reminds me that everything I do is between Him and me, not between me and anyone else. God gives me MORE than I can ever ask or imagine; therefore, every moment, I can keep my eyes fixed on Him seeking to please Him. This verse shows up a lot too:

ā€œFinally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirableā€” if anything is excellent or praiseworthyā€” think on these things.ā€ – Philippians 4:8

There is ALWAYS so much to be thankful for no matter the challenge. Like this morning, I only had cold water to shower with, and I said, ā€˜Thank You, God, I have water!ā€™ The hospital sessions with God have worked beautifully! Iā€™m not so rough on others or myself, giving us all a clean slate to begin again every day. Nobody’s perfect!

And most importantly, these alone times have trained me to think GREAT THOUGHTS OF GOD. That Iā€™m not going through life alone! I can show up my best self and trust that God is in the spiritual realm working on my behalf. I just need to replace thoughts of doubt with thoughts of, ā€˜Iā€™m rolling with the KING OF KINGS, baby! To work on upping my FAITH game, trusting God with all my heart. Even when He takes me through difficult and challenging times, I know it’s from the heart of a God who knows what’s best for me. Amen.

…back to living my best life with God. (HUGE SMILE)

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WOW! WOW! WOW!

God makes me feel sooooo loved! Iā€™ve been going on and on and on about a verse I read on my sonā€™s Joshieā€™s iPad at a friendā€™s house on Saturday:

ā€œA person might have to suffer EVEN WHEN IT IS UNFAIR, but if he thinks of God and stands the pain, God is pleased.ā€ – 1 Peter 2:19

I loved it immediately and jumped up to have my friend read it after our discussion from the week before when she said something like we shouldnā€™t have to live with pain and sorrow. This verse confirmed my belief, and I showed her thinking this was Godā€™s response to her statement.

I loved the verse so much, I shared it on a post the next day. After sharing, my daughter, Julie, calls me upset, saying something weā€™ve asked of her was unfair. I got her to read the verse, and I wrote about it AGAIN the next day.

Then, the day after, I told my friend how Iā€™m at her house and I always feel God show up there. Like I KNEW that was a message from Him to me through that verse. Can you believe, my phone needed charging, and I opened directly to this in an appointment with God first thing this morning, in one of my fav meditation books, Yes Father:

ā€œSuffering is in a real sense our vocation. ā€œThis is thankworthy if, for conscience towards God, a man endures sorrows, suffering wrongfullyā€¦But if doing well you suffer patiently, this is thankworthy before God. (1 Peter 2:19)

There was no way this was just some regular coincidence! It was God revealing His invisible Presence with me, going as far as confirming that this verse was a message from Him to me after I went on with my friend that God speaks to me clearly at her house. I felt Him in my spirit the way I was so excited reading this verse.

Iā€™m reminded of Pastor Danā€™s Hallā€™s statement about why God allowed him to be paralyzed from the neck down. He explained that life is how you respond to bad things that happen to us. He says he prays that Christ (God) be exalted (glorified) by him in his wheelchair.

And honestly, guys, thatā€™s where I am. That 2020 was a dark year, but I hope I showed a lot of people (including myself) that we will have dark times, but God will be with us every little step of the way AS WE JOYFULLY TAKE ON HARD THINGS FOR HIS GLORY!!! Wink! Wink!

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