“OBEY GOD AND LEAVE THE CONSEQUENCES TO HIM”

That’s the advice I’m running with from Dr. Charles Stanley. Your girl has been going through a tough time with a situation, but listening to him (another one of my messengers from God!) yesterday, I knew precisely what God would have me do. He spoke very sternly to me in his YouTube sermon entitled, ‘Wisdom for Life’s Trials:’

“One of the most frequently asked questions is this: Why is it that God, who’s a loving Father, allows His children to go through such terrible trials? Painful, sorrowing trials (me right now!). Where is God in all that? And there is an answer in the Word of God. It ‘s the only place you can get the real answer. So what does the Word of God say about the trials that you and I face? Well, I want you to turn, if you will, to James chapter one, because he deals with this whole issue of facing these trials in our life and facing them WISELY (Exactly what my brother, Kevin has been teaching me. He told me he wanted me to work on being a wise woman).

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for once He has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (This verse spoke directly to me because I feel I get knocked upside the head continuously, but I keep getting back up and going back into the ring to get more blows in the head (not real blows, by the way!), but I do it for God’s crown on my life. He is my reward. He gives me more than I can ever ask or imagine.)

Does he really and truly mean that I am to have joy when I encounter various trials? In other words, we might say joy, or, put it this way, trials and tears; trials and heartache; trials and burdens; trial and rejection; trial and suffering. But trial and joy, those two don’t go together. Well, they don’t go together unless you understand God’s viewpoint of what life’s all about…In order to understand the trial, and in order to understand it in a fashion that I’m able to have this deep sense of joy down inside in spite of what’s happening, I have to have wisdom. I need wisdom to know how to look at this.

So, let’s define wisdom. Wisdom is simply this. The Bible says all wisdom starts with reverencing God. Wisdom is viewing things, listen, seeing things from God’s viewpoint and then responding according to scriptural principles. It isn’t enough for me to see as God sees it, but I’m to respond in the way that fits who I am as a follower of Jesus and to fit the Holy Scriptures.

So it’s seeing it as He sees it and following the scriptural principles that He gives to us. And when we do that, for example, I think it’s pretty evident we will be able to evaluate circumstances in people and make the right decision. And we’ll be able to make decisions based on the past experiences in our life, the present situation that’s there, and the future plans that we have.”

Exactly what I’m doing to make the right decisions! I’m looking at past experiences, the present, and future based on Godly principles (not the world’s) that have worked for me:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” – Galatians 5:22

“Don’t ever let love and loyalty leave you. Tie them around your neck, and write them on your heart. Then God will be pleased and think well of you and so will everyone else.” – Proverbs 3:3-4

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”- Exodus 14:14

“Honor those leaders who work so hard for you… Overwhelm them with appreciation and love.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13

Not easy when the crazy lady wants to come out, but I do it based on knowing that God’s ways for my life are always best. His wisdom has never failed me. In fact, they have guided my life to a beautiful path despite the difficulties and challenges that I face. I can indeed count it all joy that God is using everything for my good and helping me to become the wife, mother and person He would have me to be. Amen. TRUST ME; WE NEVER LOSE WITH GOD.

Thank you, Dr. Stanley, for all the sermons that are helping to guide me confidently through a rough time in my life. (HUGE SMILE)

HI, I’M ONEKA, AND I’M VERY CLOSE TO GOD

But, that doesn’t mean I’m immune from going through everything everyone else goes through, it’s just that I go through them knowing God is my Senior Pilot, and He is lovingly guiding me through anything that comes my way. About 14 years ago, I said a prayer, ‘God, I want a closer walk with You.’ Let me tell ya, that was the best prayer I’ve ever said because, although I can’t see God, I feel His invisible Presence always with me. My meditation book, Jesus Calling, puts it like this, written as if God is speaking to us:

“As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day. Look carefully for them, and pluck them one by one. When you reach the end of the day, you will have gathered a lovely bouquet.”

Like yesterday, my daughter Julie and I had to go the extra mile in delivering a vehicle we had sold to a customer (the family hustle is on!). As I’m driving, there is a car directly in front of me with a tag saying, “ALI3N.” I tried taking a picture of it when traffic had slowed down to send it to a friend who I refer to as my “ALIEN” because of her out-of-this-world kindness to us. The picture didn’t work, and I was so busy yesterday, I decided to call her this morning to tell her about it, but she was busy. I sent her the following text:

“Just telling you how I was behind a car yesterday with a license plate that said “ALI3N.” You are in God’s thought! No coincidence! Laters!”

Fast forward a few hours, she called me back, and we chatted for a bit. I reminded her of the advice my brother, Kevin, gave me, “Get closer to God! We need Him!” As we talked, I joined my daughter, Julie, in her car to go for Starbucks coffee. We ended the call, and Julie and I parked and proceeded to walk into Starbucks. I gave her a big hug because she has gone the extra mile for me as a daughter. I noticed that she smelled nice, so I asked her what perfume she was wearing. Guess the name, guys?

“ALIEN”

Now, tell me, is all of this a random coincidence that I’m telling my friend about a license plate I just happened to be behind yesterday? To text her about it. To speak to her about it and for the conversation to finish and minutes later deciding to hug my daughter. To smell her only to find out she is wearing the perfume named “ALIEN.” Yup, that was the name of the perfume! It was ALL God lovingly and strategically arranging this to remind all of us of His super deep and very PRESENT involvement in our lives.

This is what gives me the strength, joy, and courage to take on my life the best I can (like a champion!). My help comes from the Lord Himself, baby! KNOWING His invisible Presence is behind the scenes orchestrating events in the spiritual realm on my behalf. Make sure and say this prayer with me, “GOD, I WANT A CLOSER WALK WITH YOU!!! AMEN!!!”

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GOD, YOU’RE THE MAN RIGHT NOW!!!

God is blowing me away with all the love attention He shows me!!! In every aspect of my life, He is showing up! Like, I called my husband in Nigeria asking for help with a vehicle that we had already sold with a coolant problem. He was busy and didn’t have time for me, as usual! (LOL!) Can you believe within the hour, a mechanic friend just happened to stop by and was able to diagnose the problem within minutes? It was the radiator cap! After my other mechanic had thoroughly checked it and couldn’t figure out the problem. He was also able to help another who had just stopped by with a minor issue. I’ve referred to this person as my angel from God so many times. Still, him showing up unannounced like that to help me with two issues I had going on right then and there, even blew the God maniac here away. Our help comes from the Lord, baby!

Although I cannot see God, I feel His Presence always with me! Another recent car purchase, I told our manager to please have the mechanic check to see if it was swerving. Then, today, I go to pick up a car, and the shop owner is discussing with a mechanic that the vehicle has an alignment problem and that it is swerving. The owner said, “Wow, you really know your cars!” Your girl is a real car dealer now!!! That again even blew me away with the wisdom and guidance I get from God. He gave me the heads up to pay attention to that specific issue when I had not even as much as sit in the car. Incredible!

I get back from the mechanic shop, minutes after the swerving issue, and God brings my attention to the calendar in our front office, where He always speaks to me through. On the wrong date, it says:

“When you put God on the spot with unswerving faith, He can’t help but give you all the help you need.

“Behold, God is my helper.” – Psalm 54:4

Help is what God is giving me, and I don’t want you guys missing out! He is making my faith stronger every day with all the attention He seems to pay to precisely what’s going on with my life. Even this dark period I’ve been going through, today He said this to me:

“You can believe, can’t you, that your God used this trial as a new way of getting your attention so that you would take a firmer grip on Him?” – He and I

God, I would go through ten times worst of a dark time if I knew it would bring me here where I know without any doubt, I’m Your girl, and You’re My Man! I’m obsessing about You now!

Today, I was singing to Him this love song:

My whole life has changed

Since you came in

I knew back then

You were that special one

I’m so in love

So deep in love

You make my life complete

You are so sweet

No one competes

Glad you came into my life” – Differences, Ginuwine

THE BEST LIFE IS WITH GOD!!! We can’t see Him, but trust me, HE IS ALWAYS THERE!!!

I’M FEELING SO CLOSE TO GOD RIGHT NOW!!!

The way He has been showing up for me, showing up for me, and showing up for me, baby! I’m completely blown away by all His love and attention (HUGE SMILE). The love and attention I want you feeling for yourselves, knowing that never for one second are we without His invisible Presence accompanying us through the ups and downs of life. HEEHAW!!!

Like yesterday, I was walking/jogging to my God tree. I called my baby sister, Juanita, to pass on the advice from God and my big brother, Kevin, to learn to control my emotions, stay cool and calm, and respond wisely to situations. This is a weak area for me, and I want her to learn to work on this discipline. I love being a big sister! Fast forward about 5 minutes, I get to my God tree, and because it was 14 minutes past the hour, I went to page 14 of our family’s website and look what incredibly showed up:

““The LORD will fight for you, AND YOU ONLY HAVE TO BE SILENT.” – Exodus 14:14

God has been teaching your girl here all about keeping silent and venting to Him. That I should hide all my ugliness in His heart (it’s a hospital). SUPER TOUGH when the crazy lady wants to come out, but that’s where the praying all day every day comes in. GOD TEACHES ME TO CONTROL MY EMOTIONS (Wink! Wink!), put on a poker face when necessary, and be wiser in making decisions. Smile. Be calm. Loving. Patient. Forgiving. Self-controlled. Peaceful. Brave. And good. Knowing that he is in the background of our lives fighting battles on our behalf once we do this.”

This lined up too perfectly to be some ordinary coincidence! It was God reminding me that He is involved in every conversation, thought, and moment of my life. And the winks didn’t stop there!

Joshie and I met a beautiful young lady, Johanna, yesterday at our community’s clubhouse. I told her that the foundation of my life is based on a poem by Mother Teresa, that in the final analysis, everything is between God and us, not between us and anyone else. Fast forward to me going home and having to work until late last night getting our home cleaned and clothes washed, I went to bed tired but said let me see what God had to say to me at 56 minutes past the hour on page 56 of our website. Look what astonishingly showed up:

“… I was so happy that these things were said because it taught me not to look to other humans for my approval because you could be your best, and that best may never be good enough for other people. I looked up the Mother Teresa poem, ‘Do Good Anyway’ and had Joshie read just first and last parts, explaining that this is the basis for my decision making:

“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway…
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.””

Then, this morning, I woke up to an appointment with God where I shared how my hubby and I were up at 2 am watching the Vice-Presidential debate from Nigeria with our daughter, Julie, in the US. When Julie woke up today, I told her about the appointment with God and that I would do my best to make the wisest decisions to help her get to university in New York with her sister. Momma needs to check her emotions and keep silent! God help me!

I go to my God tree about an hour later, I said let me go with the day’s date of 17 to see what page 17 had to say, and look what showed up there:

“Especially after watching the Vice-Presidential debate from Nigeria at 2 am with my daughter, Julie, watching it in the US. My husband came down and joined us later into it. We ended up calling Julie together, and I was reminded that I’m to keep my eyes on the prize – God’s plan for my family. I MUST ignore the distractions that want to pop up and take me off my groove. Like someone correctly advised me, sometimes you must say, “Forget you and the horse you rode in on!!!” To get anywhere in this life we must become PROFESSIONAL IGNORERS, (kindly and respectfully, of course), otherwise we waste time fighting useless and unnecessary battles. My eyes are on the prize, baby!”

It was a REPOST of the post I had read earlier! See why I’m feeling so close to God! And I can go on and on with more stories, but I want you getting close to Him for yourself. His invisible Presence is always with us. It’s just for us to tap into His voice and learn the different ways of His communications. Let me tell ya, He is pretty talkative!!! (ANOTHER SMILE)

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“I’LL ACCEPT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING”

That was me to my hubby today, feeling this is where God wants me to be, on the high road with Him. How do I know that God is telling me to give my husband the benefit of the doubt in overlooking some things? I tell you guys often about how this “311” is my sign from God to stay on the high road, to be still and let Him fight my battles for me (God is pretty talkative once you get to know Him!). Well, yesterday, going to post a video to YouTube, it was precisely 3 minutes 11 seconds. When I saw the 3:11, I smiled with God, because I knew right away that this was Him winking at me to stick with Him, being my best, most loving, patient, and forgiving self. Even the reason why the video was shorter than usual was that my son, Emmie, was banging on our front door to let him in as I recorded it, which was all a part of God’s plan for me to see that 3:11.

Then, this message from Dr. Charles Stanley resonated with my spirit, incredibly recorded 25 years ago, but showed up at the very top of my YouTube feed this morning:

“Anxiety means distraction. That is, when a person is anxious, they become distracted. When a person is anxious, they begin to experience an emotion in their life that causes or is the result of some sense of insecurity or uncertainty that’s going on. We become anxious when we become uncertain about when we hear bad news, we find ourselves in a circumstance, and we don’t know exactly what to do next, especially if it’s some threatening circumstance. If we even perceive that it could be threatening or dangerous, we become anxious. Over and over again, Jesus said, ‘Don’t be anxious. Don’t be anxious. Don’t be anxious.’ because he knew he was talking to people who were very anxious about their life. And so his concern here is to encourage them not to be anxious…

We hear some difficult news. News that’s very heartrending and in those moments where something is threatening us or our family (EXACTLY ME!!!). In those moments, are you saying I’m not to be anxious? There are times when we suddenly hear something, and we may at that moment become anxious if we don’t know how to respond or even if we do, its so overwhelming it leaves me feeling anxiety for the moment. It’s not a matter of never experiencing anxiety; it is what we do with it. Will I let that dominate and control me, throw me into depression, or cause me some physical problem. Or will I have myself a pity party, OR WILL I RECOGNIZE WHAT IS HAPPENING AND RESPOND IN A GODLY FASHION? (I knew this was God’s way of saying I needed to stay on the high road with Him and not get all depressed and crazy.)

We’re focusing on earth, materialism, and things, not on the Father who says, ‘I will care for you. I will watch over you. I will watch over your going out and coming in.’ Which is His way of saying I will take care of you at all times. So, what good reason do I have to be anxious? Not a single good reason. What is my response to be?

‘Father today, I submit myself to You. I want to walk in Your will by the power of the holy spirit. I want to conform to Your likeness and whatever it takes to do that.’

And you know what He says? ‘Don’t worry about anything else. Don’t be anxious about anything else because I assume full responsibility not only for your needs but for every desire of your heart that fits into my plan for your life.’”

Like my brother, Kevin, taught me, “Neeks, I want you to work on being a wise woman.” An essential part of being wise is to know the battles to take on and the battles to leave with God. I need to focus on many significant battles, like raising the best kids and seeing them become all God has called them to be. To help my husband take our businesses to the next level for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren to enjoy. Then, my crucial work for God to be His Rockstar, like Dr. Charles Stanley, telling you the best life is close to Him. It’s time for me to leave that distraction behind and focus back on God, who I know has my back AT ALL TIMES. Nobody will love us better than Him! He is my Valentine every day! (HUGE SMILE)

GOD SHOWS UP FOR ME ON VALENTINE’S DAY MORNING

Wow! God loves me too much! Here I am sitting at my computer in our dining room, asking God a few minutes ago what He has to say to me about some awful comments from my wonderful husband that I’ve been carrying around with me for a couple of days. To boost myself up, I decided to go to our family’s website, and the first thing that came up, I decided to watch. Can you believe it was from over a year ago when my son, Emmie, was upset about some awful words that humiliated him? Incredibly, God used my own words to my son Emmie to encourage me:

“Don’t let anyone’s opinion of you get you like this. If someone says 10,000 words against you, look and see where you can improve.”

Then, that night, I asked Emmie to have an appointment with God with me, and the very page he randomly selected was about another time I felt humiliated, and God said:

“Those who look to Me, their faces are never covered in shame.”

It talked about God’s unconditional love for each of us. And I explained to Emmie that God didn’t want him feeling bad about anything anyone had to say to him. I told him that he shouldn’t let people’s opinions of him affect him like this and that we must look to God and His opinion of us. God loves us so much, no matter how many times we fall and mess up.

God, who am I that you love me so much? He met me exactly where I was at that moment. For me to go our website feeling so terrible about hubby’s comments, and for the first thing to show up, out of all the content of 122 pages, for this video from a year ago for Him to remind me that I’m to look to Him for my love and approval, just blows the God maniac here away. God is love.

I want God to be our Valentine’s every day as we look to Him for our love and approval. With such love, we can all hold our heads high as we keep our focus on Him no matter the disappointments the world throws our way, being the people He is calling us to be. I know that I’m God’s fav girl, despite my husband’s opinion of me at any given moment. I can hold my head super high, still striving to be the best wife, mother, and person, all for God’s glory. And about this husband who has a tongue like a razor, God had this to say through the very page I opened to in a meditation book right next to my computer:

“To bear wrongs in patience is the real meaning of love and only this has redeeming value. Am I prepared for such love?

Prayer: Eternal God, help me to suffer for others that I might obtain Your blessings for them and myself.”

God help us all! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! Amen!

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“IF YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE…

…you have to set your focus on God. He is the One who has all the power. He s the One who loves you unconditionally. He is the One who has made promises He’s going to keep. He is the One who never changes. Great faith has focus on God that doesn’t waver.” Heehaw!!!

That’s from my guy, Dr. Charles Stanley giving me some excellent advice today in helping me deal with a frustrating situation. Thanks, Dr. Stanley, my eyes are on God and not this crazy world! I know that I’m His Beloved, and even though the love and approval from others may come and go, His love and promises remain steadfast. Our God is faithful! So, no matter what may be going on in your world today, keep your focus on God, doing whatever He asks of you, knowing there is nothing too complicated for Him. BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!

With our focus on God, we can enjoy our lives knowing He is with us in every moment. I loved my day yesterday with my sons. I first woke up and went to sit next to Emmie, telling him how he had changed my life. The school here has engrained a substantial philosophy in him that he must work hard every day to get all A’s. I was sincerely thanking Him for being my influencer and that I’m following him by stepping up my game by working hard every day. So, I told you guys how Apple Music is God’s new way of talking to me, and incredibly a couple of hours after me thanking Emmie for setting the example for me to work hard every day, this song plays:

“I work hard every day-ay-ay-ay
I work hard, I work hard every day-ay-ay-ayy, yeah
But today is my day, it’s my day
And no matter what they say, it’s my day” – Everyday by Logic & Marshmallow

Believe it or not, this was God showing me His love and attention. For me to have that conversation with my son, thanking him for inspiring me to work hard every day, and for Apple Music to play this song hours later was all God coming through to let me know that His invisible Presence is always with me.

Then, out in the food store yesterday, I felt God nudging me to stop what I was doing and just listen to the lyrics of this song:

“The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No, I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments, that
I’m gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, ’cause

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb” – The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I took this as a message from God Himself that He wanted me to lighten up and enjoy these moments more. Not so stressed out about what’s on the other side of the mountains but just enjoying the climb, knowing He has my back and He is with me every little step of the way. I came home with my sons so happy, deciding to enjoy every moment of my life, despite the disappointments, sucking up every moment of enjoyment, knowing that God’s Presence is always with me.

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“STOP TELLING EVERYONE YOU HAD A BAD DAY!!!”

That was my mom to me yesterday! I replied, “That’s my assignment from God! To share that He is with us through the good, bad, and ugly times.” Even at my lowest, He is there with me! I’m blessed, even on my worst days, as I feel God’s deep love surrounding, covering, protecting, and guiding me. The sweet life with God, baby!

Like when I think about a big, awful disappointment I’ve been going through lately, God beautifully has switched those thoughts of discouragements to ones of deep gratitude. It was God’s way of protecting your girl here from making a terrible decision and keeping me on track with His beautiful plans for my life. Let me tell ya, God is too much!

I want you guys here with me rolling with God on a moment-by-moment basis, where we look to His strength, wisdom, and direction to help us navigate through the most difficult, hurtful, and challenging of situations. It’s just for us to involve Him in the 1,000 decisions we make every day. Every circumstance. Every relationship. As we seek Him, we will find Him and learn His voice and direction. He is an expert in everything!

That’s the greatest news ever! That we don’t have to handle our lives alone. God is there! I’m amazed as I think back on the last dark two years of my life. God has been standing strong with me, even at my bottommost. I looked at my elder daughter, Ember, this week on a video call at her country club university in New York, looking so beautiful and happy, and I was like, ‘Wow, God, You made this happen for us!’ Even when my husband adamantly said, “Ember is not going to New York!!!’ we kept our eyes on the prize, looking to God for His strategy to get her there, staying on the high road with Him, and suddenly hubby gave his blessings for her to go. Nothing is impossible for God!

Then, my daughter, Julie, being interviewed recently by the top university in the world for possible admission, blows my mind about the greatness of God. His nudging me in my spirit in Nigeria that Julie should leave high school early and start college-level classes in the US was the game-changer. It brought up her class ranking significantly and showed this university that this young lady should be taken seriously. It was a huge fight convincing Julie and my family that this was the right step for her, but I kept telling them, “It’s not me saying Julie should leave high school, it’s God.”

I could go on and on with examples of God standing strong with me in my little dark time, giving me His deep wisdom for success in every aspect of my life, but I want you to develop a relationship with Him for yourselves. Start involving Him in every move you make by listening to Him in your spirit as you live a life close to Him. Amen!

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REALIZING YOU’RE WORTH DURING HARD TIMES

Hey guys! It’s Julie here. I’m taking over the post today because I feel I need to share this message with anyone who may be going through any hardship. And just to preface this message, whatever you may be going through, you are loved by God AND HE IS WITH YOU!

Anyway, I feel that God has added many frustrating challenges to my life presently, and it has been hard trying to juggle everything going on in the physical world and my little mental world. I find that I’m constantly associating how much I’m worth with how productive or how many tasks I can complete. By that, I mean, if I don’t finish my to-do list, I feel like a lazy failure. Or if I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, I see myself as a weakling who can’t handle the pressure of life. Maybe some of you may feel the same in your various endeavors, and guess what? It’s okay! Everything you are feeling right now is okay because its all a part of the journey with God to help us become all that He has designed us to be – STRONG, MATURE, NOT LACKING ANYTHING.

With that being said, think about all you have done for yourself. Even if you only completed one thing on your agenda, think about the fact that you achieved something today! We have to realize that the creator of the entire universe carefully created each of us lovingly and carefully. So, what does it matter if I feel a bit down or overwhelmed? What does it matter what someone thinks of me? That doesn’t change who I am! The almighty loves me no matter what.

The previous paragraph isn’t merely conjecture, I promise. God proves to us every day that he loves us. He puts these challenges in our lives to reaffirm our senses of self and ultimately find Him and ask for His guidance. I listened to a podcast today called “Girls with Goals,” They spoke about why you DON’T need to change. They talked about how we always feel that we need to keep transforming and “grinding” all the time, and yes, most of us have a lot on our metaphorical plates, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t extremely amazing for all the little things we accomplish every day. They also explained that you shouldn’t view your best self as someone separate from who you are now; it’s just a different version. You’re already astounding in God’s eyes, and He is just making you even more wonderful. Just keep in mind that the only person you can truly rely on is yourself, so treat yourself better! Everyone in the world could treat you terribly, but it would be irrelevant if you took the time to nurture yourself. Think about all your body does for you, your mind does for you, your soul does for you! You are here! So, stop, and smell the roses because look how far you’ve come.

To conclude our time together: if you take any advice from this raw, angsty 18-year-old, don’t be so hard on yourselves, dudes. I promise you, if you take some time for yourself, the earth won’t stop spinning. Feel everything you need to feel and get right back out there. Have a fantastic rest of your day and buy yourself some flowers lol. REMEMBER: God loves you and His wisdom, strength, love, grace, and approval are there to help get you through anything, one moment at a time.

“But the Lord stayed with me and gave me strength…” – 2 Timothy 4:17