‘I WANT YOU ALL TO MYSELF’
That’s God singing to me yesterday:
‘Girl you know you with a winner
Name a place I could take you there
I’d do anything to make you laugh
And you can have anything just ask
But just know that I’m selfish
I can’t help it
But it’s all for you
Yea it’s all for you
I’m selfish
I want you all to myself
You don’t need nobody else’ – Selfish by PnB Rock
And the reason I can say confidently that this was God singing to me is because of all the love and attention He shows me. Like yesterday, I got a call from my WISE AND WONDERFUL cook in Nigeria, Victoria. I said to her, “I have to go back to your advice: “When you are with your husband, he is your husband. When you’re not with your husband, he is not your husband. When you see him just do what you do when he comes home from work, “Honey, how are you, honey. How was your day, honey? Just pet him up. Don’t stress yourself about anything else.”
I hung up from her, and I went back to watch for the cars I was waiting to buy at the auction (the family hustle!). I started thinking, ‘Nik, you really need to listen to Victoria. Just sweet up your husband when you speak to him and just have a mini-vacation from him for now. Be happy!’ I then turn to watch the auction to see if the car was up that I was waiting for, and unbelievably, I look on the screen and of all the auto dealerships, VICTORIA (Wink! Wink!) AUTO SALES is bidding for a vehicle. I just smiled with God because I knew this was another God wink where everything lined up too perfectly to be some random coincidence, it was Him again figuring out a sweet way to let me know that His Presence is always with me. He knows intimately what is going on with every detail of my life.
But the God wink didn’t stop there!!! So, when debating what to write about today, I thought about sharing how this Victoria Auto Sales showed up at the auction. Minutes later, I go to have an appointment with God at 25 minutes past the hour on page 25 of our family’s website, and look what incredibly showed up there:
GOD GETS IN ON OUR FAMILY JOKE!
This God wink started from Joshies’ first day of summer camp almost two weeks ago. He told me about a short guy in his class who began referring to another slightly overweight kid in the class as “BIG DADDY.” I told him how mean and terrible that was (for the record), but we ended up keeping this “BIG DADDY” as my little fun nickname for Joshie. Then one day, I’m talking to my husband, and Joshie says to him, “Hey, BIG DADDY!” and we’ve all just been having a terrific time with this “BIG DADDY” thing.
Fast forward to this morning, I’m talking to my husband, and I asked him, “Do you want me to call you Papa Bear or BIG DADDY? I like calling you BIG DADDY (SMILE).” We were buying cars together at the auction, and there was a Range Rover he was interested in buying, and I said, “This is a BIG DADDY RANGE ROVER.” You guys are not going to believe this, but in less than one hour after our conversation, a message came up for one of the sales at the auction saying, “If sale – Online Bid: BIG DADY CARS INC. (Wink! Wink!)”
See the love and attention I receive from God! He confirmed that it was Him revealing His Presence with me yesterday when Victoria Auto Sales showed up. This is what gives me the peace, joy, and courage to take on my life that God is with me at every moment. Yes, He does ask some difficult stuff of us (this pretending you don’t see what you see and not hearing what you hear is HARD!), but I write off the hard things against all the good God is doing for me (even singing to me that He wants me to Himself).
I had such a beautiful day with my God and my kids yesterday. Joshie and I looked for cars at the auction to purchase today, and to see him so enthusiastic about our family hustle made this mama so proud and happy. Emmie came over and gave me the longest hug ever and I was grateful to God that I get to be this superhero mom on His behalf. Julie jokingly said she wanted to have an intervention with me because she feels I like half and half milk a little bit too much. So, when she went out, I called her asking, ‘Can you please bring some half and half when you come home please?’ Just having fun with her! I LOVE MY LIFE WITH GOD!!! I must thank Big Daddy hubby for this huge sacrifice he has made for our kids to be here in the US and him staying in Nigeria without us. It hasn’t been easy on our marriage, but I’m doing with what one of my fav songs say:
“So come on, let it go
Just let it be
Why don’t you be you
And I’ll be me?
Everything that’s broke
Leave it to the breeze
Why don’t you be you
And I’ll be me?” – Let it Go by James Bay
It is what it is, guys! Sometimes you just have to wipe the spit from your face and swallow some bitter pills, but you do it for God. He tells me to take everything out on Him, practicing patience and keeping silent, and staying on the HIGHEST road, leaving difficult battles with Him. Julie and I are anxiously waiting to see the university God has picked for her. My other daughter is certainly enjoying the one where we know God Himself selected for her without any doubt. We are just praying for His will to be done in all aspects of our lives. Amen.
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