“THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GUINEA PIG!”

That’s me to my daughter, Ember, recently. She is our first child, and I always tell her that God knew why He sent her to us first. She has set an extremely high bar for the other kids to follow with her excellent example. She confessed that this has put a lot of pressure on her to be that leader for them, but I’m forever telling her how grateful I am for her positive and fierce influence.

That’s why it’s my pleasure to strive to be God’s guinea pig, too. I feel He is teaching me some difficult lessons to then turn around and teach you guys how to tackle life from the all-important God factor. Like I’m enjoying hubby here with us in the US (most of the time!), but sometimes his harsh criticisms get the best of me. And that’s where my relationship with God comes in. I have this bracelet that Joshie gave me, and I wear it to constantly remind myself that in every moment, I’m looking to God for His love and approval, not hubby’s. God’s acceptance is steady and unconditional; hubby’s can go or down up based on his moods, emotions, stress level, and limited human perspective.

This past Saturday, my nephew and his wife popped in to pick up something, and my husband went overboard with the praise for my nephew’s wife but completely threw me under the bus finding so many faults with me. I joked with my nephew that his wife should never come back to our house again. But honestly, it was a reminder that I have to keep my focus on God. That He sees, loves, and approves of me. After 20 years of dealing with my husband’s critiques, this poem from Mother Teresa has been my essential guide in making the best decisions:

“Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.”

That means I will still show up as the most loving, loyal, patient, forgiving, and faithful wife, mother, and person possible because, in the final analysis, everything is between God and me, not between me and anyone else. Don’t look for or expect human praise! “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

But if I’m sincerely honest with you guys, my husband has been a gift to our family despite the harsh criticisms. We watched Kevin Hart’s show on Netflix together late last night. And seeing Kevin work so hard inspired me. I was reminded of how blessed I am to have such a great hubby who doesn’t play around with his role as husband and father, either. I sent a clip to hubs of Kevin saying this:

“I didn’t have this family when I was coming up; now I got one. Look what I did. Look what I built. These people depend on me. I provide for these people. This makes me happy.”

That’s my hubs! God has been opening my eyes to the gift he is to us despite our little dark times we may go through. Kevin helped me to figure out another place where I get it seriously wrong:

“We’re in a time right now where people expect perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist.”

I love the wedding vows Kevin’s wife, Eniko, said to him:

“I unconditionally acknowledge and accept all your faults and strengths, as you do mine.”

As God’s official guinea pig, my prayer is that you guys see hubs and I go through our ups and downs but that we never give up on each other. We unconditionally acknowledge and accept each other’s faults and strengths. It gets hard sometimes, but that’s where my bracelet from Joshie comes sweetly in again. God is my strength, help, wisdom, and support when I am weak. I can talk to Him anytime and get His Almighty perspective no matter the challenge that comes my way. Like today in a moment running to Him, He advised me to be grateful. God, I am!!! (HUGE SMILE)