‘GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?’
That was me questioning Him yesterday after I kept falling, upset and crazy, thinking TOO much about an issue that I keep saying I would not get upset and crazy about anymore. But here is where the sweetness of God comes in. I got in a super cleaning mode, and I know He was behind me picking up a piece of paper from my bedroom floor, where I had written this weeks ago:
“Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected.” – Philippians 4:8
In other words, Nik, STOP ALL THIS CRAZY THINKING!!! YOU HAVE SO MUCH GOOD YOU CAN FOCUS ON INSTEAD!!! The reason why I was so sure this was God was because so many times I’ve fallen in this same area, and God would figure out some way for this EXACT verse to show up, and I would just smile with Him. ‘Ok, God, I get the message, AGAIN!’ The crazy lady immediately went away.
Then, this showed up in my meditation book, as I sat for an alone time with Him:
“I take you as you are, with your regrets; so just be sorry. Tell Me that you will be more careful tomorrow. Don’t you think that I prefer someone who has fallen and repented to one full of pride in his good deeds? The self-righteous lose all merit. Then always be little… Get a true picture of yourself in all your weakness, without even the possibility of being good without Me. But in the distress of your poverty, look at all My riches: they are all yours. Look at my goodness and throw yourself into My arms. Look at My love without ever being afraid. I am your Savior.” – He and I
So, there I was beating up myself, and God figured out a way to get me back up without any judgement or guilt. Just that I could just be more careful next time. How sweet is that? Unlike humans who are quick to cut us off when we mess up, God LOVINGLY welcomes us to come even closer to Him, with His arms wide open to receive us.
What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger! And your girl here is getting stronger, knowing God is with me! A depressing day ended up ultimately being a great day because God showed up to sweetly remind me that His invisible Presence is always with me, even if I fall a million times. He also gave me the proper MINDSET to tackle this issue in the future: FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES, and that even if I fall, no problem, I can just resolve to do better next time – no guilt, no judgments, no condemnation. And, CRUCIALLY, we can ALL do the same for others when they fall, being even more loving to those who hurt us. Let’s reflect God’s unconditional love, which is PATIENT AND KIND. Kk?
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