That was me on my morning run with Him. I was happy, dancing, singing, and thanking God for helping to get rid of the negative cloud that has been following your girl here around. No shame in my game, I cried out to God, ‘HELP ME!’ and as usual, He showed up, and it is another awesome testimony about God’s great love for us.
I got a feeling from Him to Watch Devon Franklin’s YouTube Bible study a couple of days ago. I watched it as if God was having a personal discussion with me alone. Devon perfectly articulated what I’ve been going, though: My heart was crushed into a million pieces, y’all. Which explained so many issues I had going on like the constant eating and running to sweets. The sadness, frustration, and stress of it pushed me to food as a relief valve to let out the steam. He also said something like you’re not getting your not work done. This was after I kept asking myself, ‘Nik, what is wrong with you?’ after I can’t seem to get a project completed. But, Devon reminded that God was close to the brokenhearted and He has a plan to rescue us when we cry out to Him.
That plan included fasting with the Muslims for Ramadan to stop all the constant, constant eating. Instead of running to food, I ran to God and had appointments with Him. Reading a lot of what the old Nikki had to say on my website, werollwithgod.com was great therapy. Even when I’ve been asking God to give up the posts and videos while I catch myself, He took me to a direct post that said the work for Him was to continue. ‘No problem, you’re the Boss!!’ But seeing such a specific response to my question made me feel so close to Him.
I also felt God nudging me to include a “NO SWEETS” rule along with the fasting. Even when the girls flaunted freshly baked cake in my face, I said, “No!!!” I know that’s one of my downfalls. I wouldn’t have a piece of cake, I would want the entire cake, and this fasting was about me going away from the old ways of sad and depressed Nikki and back to my joyful self.
Another story Devon told was about a potter and how he doesn’t just throw away a pot because its marred (damaged). That he would remake it into something else despite its faults. He said that’s what God does for us. No matter how many times we mess up, God doesn’t throw us out or give up on us. He keeps working with us, using everything, including our failings, to help us become the people He designed us to be. Not only is God still working on me, He is working on us all. I felt that was God’s message to me to go the extra mile in love (no judging other people’s sins), forgiveness, and patience because we all have issues He is working on. Again, ‘OK, Boss! Anything to please You.’ Fall one million times; Get up a million and one times with God.