That was the crucial question one of these beautiful daughters asked me years ago after I had an emotional breakdown in front of them when my husband fussed me out about my weight one Sunday I will never forget. That was my wake up call. Nik, are you going to let your daughters see you play the weak, low self-esteem, victim role, or will you be the confident woman you want them to grow up to be? I was pitiful and pathetic…BUT GOD HELPED ME.
The new Nik that felt so awful about herself and her weight now wants to be a Rockstar for God and spread this great news of how intimately He is involved in our lives and how much HE LOVES US. Even this morning, I felt Him telling me in my spirit that He didn’t like the way I described myself in this post:
“Yes, I’m a BIG screw-up MOST of the times, but by the grace of God, I’m trying to be BETTER.”
And I felt Him saying how proud He is of me, instead, and the wife, mother, and person I’ve become. Thanks, God! The world had brainwashed me into thinking I’m not good, especially by a husband who believes his job is to focus on everything I do wrong and correct me. Being around people who make you feel you’re never good enough is not easy …BUT GOD HAS HELPED ME to raise my head and focus on all the things I do right every day, despite the feelings and opinions of others. I’m God’s girl first and foremost, and I believe what He thinks of me, not others. I’m a little bit TOO confident now despite my flaws and failures that God uses for my good! LOL!
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my husband’s honesty, but it’s been a challenge to keep feeling good about myself. That’s where the times alone with God have paid off. He seems to stoop down to my level, pick me up, dust me off and say, ‘Nik, you know I approve and love you unconditionally. FOCUS ON MY LOVE! Whatever you need to improve in, I will help you.’
And He has! I’m down almost 60 lbs (27 kgs) from where I used to be when my husband made me cry that Sunday. With God’s help, I now know what to eat to help my body feel its fittest – LOTS OF FRUITS AND VEGGIES (80-90% of my diet). I’m now 45, but I feel as if I’m 25! I just had the best time doing 12 rounds of by Core De Force workout. Heehaw!
Not one moment hanging with God has been a waste of time. We must make Him a priority seeking Him and building a relationship with Him through special alone times with Him. I would love to send you a free electronic copy of my book where I wrote about my God transformation from a weak victim to God’s girl! He wants to help you too! Just say this prayer with me, ‘God, I want a closer walk with You. Amen’
KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD