“MARRIAGE IS LEARNING TO PUT UP WITH SOME STUFF WE DO NOT LIKE”

I said this to someone over the phone on Saturday. After that conversation, in thinking about it, I said to my friend who I was with, “I’m going to make that the message of my next post.” I figured that if I’m going to do the best I can with my work for God, I have to keep it as real as possible: YOU WILL HAVE SOME MESSY STUFF TO DEAL WITH; NOT EVERY DAY IS LIKE THE HONEYMOON.

I also mentioned to my friend about deciding to NOT attend any more of our BBQ’s at the office after my last SURPRISE that ended with me leaving early. This decision was from a place of freeing my husband to live his life. I can’t be with him 24 hours a day, and I need to trust that he will make good decisions whether I’m around or not. Not that anyone ever gets it entirely right, but my hope is that every day we learn crucial lessons and become BETTER. My prayer for us all!!!

Can you believe God used these two situations to reveal His invisible Presence with me there at my friend’s house? I’m such a nerd because I took four meditation books with me. And shortly after our conversations, I had an appointment with God reading one of them, and looked what incredibly showed up:

“… but more in the sense of what we mean by “trust.” This goes beyond simply presuming that the other is not lying or cheating. Such basic trust recognizes GOD’S LIGHT SHINING BEYOND THE DARKNESS… This trust enables a relationship to be free. It means we do not have to control the other person, to follow their every step lest they escape our grip. Love trusts, it sets free, it does not try to control…

…This means that love bears every trial with a positive attitude. It stands firm in hostile surroundings. This “endurance” involves not only the ability to tolerate certain aggravations (or like I put it, putting up with some things we may not like), but something greater: A CONSTANT READINESS TO CONFRONT ANY CHALLENGE. IT’S A LOVE THAT NEVER GIVES UP, EVEN IN THE DARKEST HOUR. It shows a certain dogged heroism, a power to resist every negative current, AN IRREPRESSIBLE COMMITMENT TO GOODNESS.” – The Joy of Love by Pope Francis

Wow! This just lined up strangely TOO PERFECTLY to be coincident. Of all the books and pages for me to read! It was like God was RIGHT THERE in our conversations! This confirmed where God Himself would have me to be in my marriage: Nik, leave your hubby to have his BBQ to hang out with his friends without you present. Love trusts. And not only am I asking you to put up with some things, I’m challenging you to resist ALL evil with an even STRONGER commitment to love, goodness, and faithfulness.”

Roger that, God! I will be the SUPER GLUE that keeps my family together no matter the challenges that come our way. In fact, yesterday, I got on my knees in front of my kids and hubby and prayed, “God, let me have this same husband AGAIN in my next life! Amen!” Between God, hubby, and this friend I was hanging out with, they’ve bettered my STANDARDS as a wife, mother, and person. I’m God’s little superhero! Wink! Wink! His intimate Presence and LOVE keeps my FAITH STRONG, baby!

KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD

“WE’RE GOING PLACES, MOTHER”

These words this morning from my daughter, Ember, made me seriously happy. I can easily write a book about our relationship: ‘Teenage Daughters Are From Another Planet.’ But God has been my Parental Counselor, and right now we’re surprisingly in a really good place. I’m a super proud mom, and AGAIN I’m giving all the glory to God. He taught me how to calm down and focus on Ember’s positives. And with all that constant praise, she has beautifully blossomed into a fine young lady. My appointments with God are what did the trick. I was this crazy tiger mom until God lovingly corrected me to focus MORE on Ember’s strengths and not her weaknesses. It worked!

And speaking of relationships, I have a new love and respect for my hubby today. I last wrote how I was attacked in a meeting and hubby called his own meeting to say that anyone who has anything to say about his wife, should come and say it to her face. And let me tell ya, when they came for me, my husband ATTACKED back like, “DON’T MESS WITH MY WIFE!!!” The person conducting the meeting said, “Emmanuel, I have three wives, but you can only have one with the way you’re defending Nikki.” LOL!

This gentlemen with all the wives has earned new respect from me as well. He asked, “How did we get here? We’re family.” He knows my heart is always in a good place despite the fact I may get a little crazy sometimes wanting everything to go my way. I’m still a work in progress. We all are. Our challenge from God is to go the extra mile in love and forgiveness despite each other’s faults and failures. Not easy, but this is where God wants us.

My other daughter, Julie, proudly told me about her appointment with God. “Mommy, I learned that we should be kind to even those who are not kind to us. That each person has their own judgment to face with God.” I said to her, “That’s why I’ve always taught you guys that everything is between God and us, not between us and anyone else.” I say I do this work for God of telling you about Him, but He is incredibly working for me. The challenges, disappointments, hurts, problems, trials, and frustrations never go away, but God is always there to guide me through life’s storms with His wisdom and LOVE. I’m not worried about nothing because I know my God is in control and just how hubby jumped to defend me yesterday, God is the BIGGEST and MOST TRUSTWORTHY DEFENDER EVER. Wink! Wink! He hasn’t disappointed me yet!

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” – John 14:27

“Since that day, I’ve been learning to enjoy life more and to savor its many pleasures, big and small. I’m noticing God’s loving presence more, how He helps me, guides me, and sprinkles my life with His blessings, like little love notes to remind me how much He cares.” – Activated Magazine

My hope, unlimited hope, is forever in God. Are you with me?

KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD

“I WANT TO JOIN YOU!!!” (REPOST)

I excitedly told a friend concerning fasting for Ramadan. That ONE decision has changed my life DRAMATICALLY, and I astonishingly see God’s hands ALL over it!
As I was running out to an event at my kids’ school, the zipper on my dress popped open. Aye Carumba! I had to rush and quickly put together a completely new outfit. Arriving late, I ended up sitting next to this friend who told me about the fasting. And I KNOW this was totally God’s planning for His baby girl over here to be HAPPIER. (SMILE)
Honestly, eating was a distraction to get me away from tackling the reasons why I was so unhappy. With the constant chewing chewing chewing out of the way, I ran to GOD and not FOOD. These moments with Him changed EVERYTHING. I realized I needed to stop all the depressing and crazy thoughts I had going on in my head all day.
The crazy lady who wanted to keep track of her husband 24 hours a day has been replaced by a wife who LOVES and ENJOYS her hubby. In fact, the enjoyment level is SUPER HIGH! It’s like I have a new man, baby! (Wink! Wink!) Even my kids are like the SUPER BEST KIDS in the world now. I suck every moment of enjoyment out of them. I’m enjoying so much that I ate two plates of dinner last night with hubby and my sons.
Right from work, hubs joined the new cook in making a vegetable stew we love. When I asked if there was fish for me, hubby quickly asked her to take some fish he had grilled on Sunday out of the freezer, and he promptly placed it in the pot to heat, even though I told him not to bother. He wants his wife happy, too!
My new attitude is when I’m with my husband, he’s my husband. And other than that, I free him to live HIS BEST LIFE WITH GOD. The constant tracking was TOO much!!!
My new FOCUS is on stepping up my game to be the wife, mother and person GOD HIMSELF would have me be in every moment. Anything I do, I do for His glory. Today, He told me not to worry so much about pleasing others; I’m to keep my focus on Him, following His will for my life, which not everyone will understand.
“Have faith. Everything becomes simple then. It will be simple to love Me (God), simple to serve Me, simple to be happy to suffer for Me. What progress, what riches to exploit, when you speak to Me, when you tell Me that you love Me.” – He and I
God, I LOVE YOU!!! Don’t miss out; Make God a PRIORITY in every single moment!
KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD

“WE MUST STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT OUR HUSBANDS!!!”

I lovingly corrected a friend a short while ago! “The African culture is that no matter what the husband does, the wife is to be quiet and not mention a word of it to anyone!” Both of us have noticed that once we’ve blabbed to other people about stuff our hubs have done, we feel terrible afterward. So, I’m running with this message from Jesus, “Go and sin no more!”

This friend and I are having some excellent conversations about holding each other accountable for goals that we’ve set for ourselves. My list for improvement includes stopping all the useless noise (unnecessary thinking) in my head where I’m beating up myself and others for times when we might not have quite gotten it right. Nobody’s perfect. I want to be the Nik who God is calling me to be, FULL OF FORGIVENESS, LOVE, AND KINDNESS FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS. God’s girl, baby!

I lost my nephew, Ray, yesterday. We were lucky to have him for the time we did. He brought such happiness, love, fun, and lightness to our lives telling jokes all the time. I want to be more like Ray. Quicker to forgive and bring more of that light and cheerful attitude wherever I go. My brother was telling me anytime he called Ray, he would answer “Hey Uncle, what do you need me to help you with?” Great guy, our Ray! I know you’re resting with God now!

The last conversation I had with him was to remind Him that God is always with Him and to hold on to God’s hand super tight as he endured the hospital and all their pricking and prodding over him. And hopefully, that’s the message all of you are getting from these posts that no matter the trouble, trials, and stresses that come our way, God is with us and He can help us get through anything! Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord. Amen.

The fasting that I’m doing for Ramadan is super hard! But it’s bringing me so close to God. Like in a weak moment a short while ago, I go to read my meditation book, He and I, and look what showed up:

“WHEN YOU FEEL WEAK AS YOU DO TODAY (Wink! Wink!), take your brother’s (Jesus’) power to love, to praise, to thank our Father. Don’t deprive Him of any smile. A smile is a happy amen. And give the same to the people around you. They need joy and kindness so much.”

God is using these weak moments to bring me closer to Him on EVERY SIDE! The fasting continues!

KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD

GOD VISITS WITH ME AND A CUSTOMER

“I don’t know why I’m about to tell you this…” I said to the wife of a friend whom I was meeting for the very first time. But I felt God asking me to share with her a recent hurtful experience and specifically how He showed up for me in the words of Pope Francis. I had written how we’re to reflect the GOD IS LOVE CHARACTER and two hours later, I read the same thing in Pope Francis’ book. And I knew right away it was God’s sweet way of revealing His Presence, wrapping His arms around me to console my little broken heart in that alone time with Him.

So, there I was telling this lady all my business and showing her the Pope Francis book. She agreed that it was indeed God, and not coincident. Then I noticed a book in her hand and I asked her to see it. She had it folded. Can you believe that after showing her my post about the GOD IS LOVE CHARACTER, the Pope Francis’ book about the GOD IS LOVE CHARACTER, the very page she had that book folded to, I immediately read:

“GOD IS LOVE” Wink! Wink!

Turns out that both of us are not Muslim, but we’re both fasting for Ramadan! We felt that this was God revealing His Presence AGAIN with us. Wow! For me to be so open with her and to tell her that story and to see the very page where she was reading for those words to show up was so comforting. Like God was saying, ‘Nik, you’re right! I am LOVE! Wink! Wink!’

Forget about it, every Ramadan I will be fasting, by God’s grace! I’m feeling God’s Presence so intimately and it’s not too late for you to start. God has given me such peace, joy, and comfort since the beginning on Monday. Your girl here is super happy despite all the troubles that are surrounding me. I know my God is with me and He is in complete control of everything and everyone, and I, therefore, have NOTHING to worry about.

“People with their minds set on you,
you keep completely whole,
Steady on their feet,
because they keep at it and don’t quit.
Depend on GOD and keep at it
because in the LORD GOD you have a sure thing.” – Isaiah 26

Amen!!!

KEEP CALM—YOU’RE ROLLING WITH GOD/ALLAH