“STILL FIGHTING MY DEMONS” (REPOST)

That was my WhatsApp message to my siblings yesterday. To become better, we must address our weaknesses, and I know I have some evil demons within me that are always trying to get the best of me, but I’m fighting them. They go as far as waking me up in the middle of the night, with some awful thoughts about what I should do, and I have to say, ‘No, devil, get away from me!!!’ ALL day long I’m in a war with them, striving to be the Nikki God Himself would have me to be in every moment, glorifying Him. Let me tell ya; THIS IS NOT EASY!!! I still get it wrong, LOTS, and that’s OK, because I get knocked down PLENTY, but I get back up with a renewed commitment to bounce back even STRONGER AND BETTER than ever before. Heehaw!

Yesterday when I felt them telling me to turn into the crazy lady, I instead went running to God for an appointment with Him. This showing up after my conversation with my siblings a few hours prior, was no coincident:

“Heavenly Father, I know that I am in battle against a supernatural force of evil, and the only way I can be triumphant in this battle is through an even more powerful force. I know that you are that force. Thank you for giving me the wisdom, courage, and strength to be your hands and feet in this world. Thank you for the opportunity to stand between oppression and freedom. Today, I cast down every fear, every thought that doesn’t align with your Word. I ask you today to give me the discernment to identify the strategies of the enemy and the wisdom to respond. Grant me the courage to act based on my training, preparation, and level of skill. In Jesus’ Holy Name I pray. Amen.” – Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

I knew this was another direct message from God, reminding me that He is that powerful force helping to fight off the demons. In that awful moment, He gave me the wisdom, courage, and strength to resist the devil, and I’m so much happier for it. So much so that I even responded to an email first thing this morning that I’ve been procrastinating about sending. I’m embarrassed about the way I’ve been lately, but I’m using the humiliations to be better, by God’s grace. I’m thankful to be able to look into myself and see where I can improve.

God went even as far as confirming that this was indeed a message from Him when He drew my attention to a huge truck passing on the highway with the word “TRIUMF” big and boldly printed across it. That was a God wink saying, ‘Nik, you will be victorious in this battle!!!’ Such love I receive from Him that I can respond to the devil’s tricks and schemes from His loving, Almighty perspective, KNOWING HIS LOVE WILL NEVER FAIL ME. I claim that for us all!!! Remember, everything we do is between God and us, not between us and anyone else! Do your best and leave the rest with God! Wink! Wink!

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